Blind Spot
The writer of the Gospel of Saint Matthew states: “You can see the speck in your friend’s eye but you don’t see the log in your own eye.” (Matthew 7:3)
I had a regular appointment with my eye doctor recently where he did a complete eye exam. Part of any complete eye exam is checking for glaucoma by using a test where you look at a screen, focus on the center blinking light and then click a device to see what blinking lights you can see particularly on the periphery of the screen.
As he does normally, he showed me the computer printout with the dark area on the periphery. This was my blind spot. No matter what we would do we, as human beings, would never be able to see it. It’s part of the biology of the eye.
It is important to keep this in mind when we are in relationship with others. Most often we would find ourselves saying things like, “Why can’t he see that trouble he is causing me?” or “Why doesn’t she act on that observation?” Another question that may form is “Why doesn’t he ever say ‘I am sorry. Forgive me?’”
The first way to deal with our blind spot is to have someone that we trust such as a friend point this out to us to help us grow and be better people in relationship with others. This can be a very frustrating experience. Just as we can’t see the blind spot in our eye, it is very difficult to see our psychological blind spot. However, I trust my eye doctor and science and know that he and the computer program are right.
There are many people frustrated by the actions of President Trump. Recently he knew that there were 200,000 deaths due to the Pandemic, but gave himself an A+ for his handling of the virus even though we had the highest per capita death rate in the world. We also never have heard him apologize for anything largely because I don’t think that he sees the cause and effect of his actions. People have also indicated that they admire his grit in going from one crisis to another. I think that is based in the fact that he doesn’t see a crisis the way that the rest of the world does. Nothing seems to bother him. Some see this as grit! His blind spot serves him well!
I know someone with similar characteristics. He has been a nightmare for his company as a good many of his workers couldn’t stand him and repeatedly were on strike. His board of trustees finally said, “Enough!” They brought in a very savvy conflict management mediator to discover the problem to give him and them some indication of the disconnect and how to work through it.
The mediator had all of the workers meet in one room with this leader and were told to give him feedback on why they did not like him. The exchanges were absolutely brutal as the workers were very direct and honest! After the exchange the mediator and the leader went to lunch to review what occurred during the morning. The mediator asked, “How do you feel?” The leader responded, “I feel fine!” The mediator’s retort was, “That’s the problem. You shouldn’t feel fine!”
The problem with this leader was that his blind spot was working for him as he could hear any negative comments and not see the connection with his actions. But what worked for him was putting his workers in a very vulnerable place.
This story had a very happy ending as the leader trusted the mediator and his board and knew that they had his best interests at heart.
Trust and knowing that others have your best interests at heart are necessary for all of us to cope with our blind spot so that we don’t hurt others. This presupposes that, like the leader and his workers, we have an investment in making a change and others have the courage to give the necessary feedback.
President Abraham Lincoln knew the importance of this fundamental characteristic of leadership. It is seen clearly in Doris Kearns Goodwin’s book, A Team of Rivals. Lincoln chose people to be in his administration who wouldn’t necessarily agree with him. People were free to speak their mind. Lincoln had a mind of his own, but he would listen carefully to divergent points of view. That is what made him one of the greatest presidents in history.
He was aware of our blind spots and knew that this can create havoc in everyday relationships which involve relatively few people. He also knew it could be a horrific thing if a President didn’t see his own blind spot and how it was impacting a nation, if not a world. This could be particularly true if people feared honest feedback to their leader.
Saint Matthew seems to have understood the biology of the eye and the psychology of a blind spot.
Commentaires