Cornell Date Rape and Koestner
An alleged date rape at Cornell University contained a troubling/contradictory account of what occurred. A female student attended a party and drank alcohol and had sex with a person. She was Ok with the sex. Later in the evening she had sex in a threesome and then again at another party had sex with a foursome. The sex was casual and consensual. This was in 2024. She recently rethought the evening and because she said “no” to some males she concluded that she was raped. She indicated that after initially agreeing to the sex she was given ketamine and other drugs along with the alcohol and felt because of that she concluded that she was raped. The first question is who is responsible for her behavior? She or the frat brothers? If alcohol is involved, does that change the responsibility?
The Lafene Health Center at Kansas State University conducted a study that found that of the 600,000 date rapes last year between the ages of 18-24 that alcohol was involved in 90% of the situations by the assailant or victim or both.
The second controversial issue is when did she communicate and to whom did she communicate this situation to the Cornell University Police who have the same power as the local police. Cornell says that they reported the event to the Cornell police but the DA said that he should have received the information either from the Cornell police and/or the university as the DA said that what he was told particularly in his interview with the victim that the information that she provided didn’t justify charging the frat brothers, seven of whom she accused of her rape.
The university would not publicly indicate what punishment was given to the possible assailants beyond their fraternity being closed. Their national chapter were informed by the university of the reason for the punishment. However, the university indicated that they did do something more than just having the students writing an essay on date rape.
The Cornell interviews that I saw communicated that the students felt this should never have occurred and that the university had a track record of not supporting the students. They said they didn’t feel safe. There were two words that defined the ethical argument, consensual and non consensual.
Enter Katie Koestner into the narrative. I first met Katie Koestner in the early 90’s. I received a phone call from her when she was a student at William and Mary College. She was raped when she was 18 when she was a first-year student after a dinner date. No alcohol was involved. She made it clear to her date that she did not want to have sex with him. He refused to acknowledge her “no”. She went through various school channels including a disciplinary board. The school newspaper gave out her name, address, and phone number. She received little or no support from her family or the college. The assailant was allowed to remain at the school with the caveat that he should never enter any dorms. Katie graduated in 1994 with honors and Phi Beta Kappa.
She called me when she was looking to tell her story and what men and women should know about this issue. It was not a topic that most people thought was newsworthy or important. I was one of her first phone calls regarding her wanting to get her story and the issue out in the open. She said that she heard that I was supportive of students and would take on hard topics. She told me her story and the kinds of things that male and female students need to know about date rape. She reviewed with me her story and how she would handle the issue.
She was not a very polished speaker then which quite frankly I think was part of her appeal. She was not much older than some of my upper school students. I thought that this was very much needed as a moral and character issue, so I had her speak in Chapel. To say that she created a lot of conversation that not all my school community wanted to hear would be an understatement. But the students found her and her message compelling as it struck a nerve with them as something important to get out in the open.
She became the mustard tree that spread its branches growing large from a small seed in Jesus’ the parable of the mustard seed. She is now a speaker and consultant around the globe.
Katie appeared on the cover of Time Magazine June 3, 1991. I have included her bio which is too full to cover in a blog. A few years after speaking in Chapel, she called me and thanked me for giving her a place for her voice to be heard and get started. Ironically, she left William and Mary and spent one year at Cornell and then returned to her school in Virginia to graduate.
But there is more. I am alumnus of a graduate program at Duke University. The Duke University Men’s Lacrosse Team was accused of raping an exotic dancer at a party. It put the university through hell. The national and international news took up residence on the outskirts of the campus. In my opinion, the school did not support the team or coaches enough. Seniors who had jobs had the jobs canceled. The coaches and team were demonized in the press. It divided the campus. They were found guilty before all the facts were in. Finally, the woman in question admitted that she had lied. Later she was put in prison for another different offense.
By then the damage was done. People forget that accusations are not soon forgotten. One of my parents at EA called her son each week, and in the phone call she always reminded him about date rape issues as part of the conversation. It is true for many parents of male students. One of my parents went to a parents’ weekend at her son’s school and saw all the women students in black tights which is now standard dress. She thought that they were seductive, “leaving nothing to the imagination”, and wrote a letter to the student newspaper saying that. The women students’ response was for every women student to wear the tights in protest of the letter. This is an issue that parents of men and women are very concerned about and rightfully so. Any college or university will tell you it is a crisis.
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