Face To Face

This past weekend was Alumni Weekend at the Episcopal Academy. Vicki and I attended the alumni awards ceremony in the chapel. When I sit there, I always feel that I have come home after being part of the many hands that made the building of the chapel happen. It was a late afternoon of celebration. My thoughts quickly went to the words of St. Paul where he wrote in his famous love passage in First Corinthians 13, “currently they see through a glass darkly and know only in part, but in the future, they will see face to face and know fully.” He was referring to the face of God. But God made us in his image and part of the divine is in each of us. Hence, we should act toward others as though they contain the spark of the divine as well.

The afternoon helped me forget the anti-DEI words and work of Trump and his minions. It was an afternoon that was a break from hatred as there were hugs around as I greeted others. The chapel is a sanctuary where we can feel temporary relief and go back out into the world a bit stronger and a bit kinder. The awards ceremony was a time and place to be grateful for the celebrating the good work of others.

Many of my former students were being recognized. What each person said about the importance of the school in the development of their, mind, body, and spirit was at the heart of their “thank you(s)” to the school. It made me feel as though all our efforts as a school made a positive difference in their lives. The anti-Dei efforts are efforts defined by seeing through a glass darkly. But in this respite, we could see our black former students celebrated as we viewed them and their accomplishments face to face honoring the spark of divinity within them and us. We knew who they were when they graduated. Now we could see what they had become.

I was pleased that many of our African American students were recipients, one who was the head of a business enterprise who attended Brown and Duke Law. While at EA he took three busses to get to school and was a lacrosse standout. Another who is head of one of the divisions of the Settlement Music School who went well prepared by us to attend Yale and received a Ph.D. in Music from Harvard. Another was an outstanding basketball star at EA. He came from the city near Penn where another alumnus, Jerome Allen, who was then at Penn allowed him to get some time in the gym and introduced him to the notion of coming to our school community. One of the recipients was a colonel who bear hugged me. He led his troops in war in the scariest of places in the world. We are very DEI which is one of my passions which makes Trump’s efforts feel like razor cuts to me. We are losing the trust of the DEI community, but that afternoon symbolized that DEI would prevail.

There were also white graduates who were honored and possess that divine spark and see it in others. Our Olympian who rowed to victory was present. He put his life on hold for years of rigorous practice to represent our country that led to him realizing his dream. Another one of honorees was a woman student who was on my student spiritual leadership group (The Vestry). She is living in Peru but will travel to London to finish her Ph.D. to help make children’s lives better. She made my life better each day by allowing that divine spark shine on many others as an athlete and someone who reflects the best in humankind.

John Yoo who was being kidded by his classmates for so much TV time said, “I was in Reverend Squire’s Ethics Class. That started me.” It provided him with the necessary cover. We hugged. I whispered to him that I had read his book on the imperial presidency that he sent me. He indicated, “Oh no! You have more important things to do.” Two pieces of learning underscored, “We can tolerate (not agree with) what we understand.” I understand John’s point of view, but it isn’t mine. When we like someone, we see them clearly and are free of harsh judgement. We become face to face!  When we don’t like someone, they can do nothing right. A lesson known to all but relearned at the event.

During Covid I did counseling via zoom. Something was missing even though we could see one another. When you are in the room with someone the connection is greater which is needed for change. When I had difficult exchanges at EA with others who were over the top angry, once I got them in my office face to face, those aspects of anger faded…face to face. Look for the divine!

When I walked into the chapel for the Awards Program, why did I feel like I was coming home? If the walls could talk, they would have much to say about the best of times and the worst of times. I remember meetings with Bob Venturi and Denise Scott Brown, architects who designed the chapel, and a close friend and former board chair, Rush Haines, who died last summer. We had his memorial service in the chapel. He and the class of ’44 played an outsized role in bringing the building of the chapel to completion.

How many opportunities does one have to work with two of the best architects in the world? They are geniuses really.  Everyone in the school community had their ideas and input, and no one was shy about expressing their perspective. Before my first meeting with Bob and Denise, John Hunter, their associate who would be on campus during the build provided me with several books that Bob and Denise had written. During our first meeting, face to face, I knew that we would have to be sensitive to what people experienced in the former Chapel on the Merion Campus. They asked me what I wanted to see, and I responded “a place that has awe, intimacy, and no one had seen anything like it before.” They simply said, “Ok!” After the building was completed, they asked me with smiles on their faces, “How did we do with those three requests.” They already knew the answer. The chapel was one of eight structures on school campuses that won The New York Times Too Cool For School Award. It was built with the context of seeing God and one another face to face.

But one final memory as Vicki and I were leaving. One of my former students who was on the Alumni Board of Managers and was a student who graduated when I retired stopped me to give a final hug. I taught her and knew her well. She was one of the co leaders of the evening. She told me that she was very nervous during the evening with all the important people there, but she said, “Each time when I was nervous, I would look out at you, and I knew everything would be alright.” Face to face.

Those words from a former student are really what it’s all about! I know that many faculty and staff have heard similar words which is what makes our school the place that it is and, God willing, always will be.