I Call You Friend

Rich Merriman and I have been friends for years particularly after my retirement from The Episcopal Academy.  He is the founder of the Pennsylvania Trust which is now the Fiduciary Trust International. But most important to him and me, he is a friend.

Many months ago, Rich said, “Jim, I have a surprise for you. You are going to have to meet with a photographer.” The photographer was David Moser. Like most photos that have been taken of me in my life, they could be measured in seconds and minutes. But David had something different in mind for those of us who were requested by Rich to have him photograph us. I am sure that you have seen the photographer at big events in the news moving constantly around the subject with the camera clicking. David was doing that and asking me questions as he moved around me from different angles. He took two hundred photographs of me.

In David’s own words, “The portraits are far from complimentary in a traditional sense but convey a warmth that overcomes the harshness of the technique. This treatment deconstructs beauty or expected appearances and forces you to try to relate to the energy people offer, through expression and gesture. These people are beautiful, seen in a fresh context…so we are forced to take on a new language for connecting with them past the expectation of cliché, beautiful light and retouching and recognize the uniqueness ofcharacter, energy, and ultimately, the love in each person.” Rich makes the decision of which photograph that speaks to how he sees deep inside the person.”

The portraits are far from complimentary in a traditional sense but convey a warmth that overcomes the harshness of the technique.

For me, Rich himself is the thread and spirit that runs through the images and image selections. The project turned into true collaboration, not just a traditional commission.

Vicki and I sat together to look at each photograph of Rich’s connections to others while we read the text that runs throughout. She thought my photograph was spot on. The photos are unique but the text throughout is universal in getting to the heart of what informs the actions of friends.

There was the following narrative interspersed throughout the book that makes the book of portraits meaningful.

Thoughts from Rich:

“I’m glad to have you meet some of the people whose goodness and energy have lifted me up in life.

I was inspired to create this project by two very different sources with a common thread: the sustaining value of friendship,

The first source is from a passage in the New Testament, inspiring the title of this book, and is also the title of Wes Avram’s last sermon, given at Bryn Mawr Presbyterian Church.”

“I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete…I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my father I have made known to you.” (John 15:15)

Accompanying the book was a copy of E. B White’s Charlotte’s Web where friendship is defined in the following way:

“Why did you do all of this for me,” he asked. I don’t deserve it. I’ve never done anything for you.” You have been my friend,” replied Charlotte”. “That, in itself is a tremendous thing. I wove my webs for you because I liked you. After all, what’s a life anyway? We’re born, we live a little while, we die.”

“The portrait on the cover is iconic of the project. Erick and I were in kindergarten together and here we are, still best friends, celebrating our birthdays together all these years later. All the images in this book are my way of sending visual hugs to wonderful people and a way to celebrate the rich tapestry that is my life.”

“My life is a reflection of the people in it. Success and joy come from relationships and what I can do for others.”

“These portraits let you inside the person’s heart and soul and affect me. It’s a real time experience of my friends.”

“My idea was to look up from my desk in the middle of a busy office day and make eye contact with some of the most significant people in my life.”

“These images celebrate passion, love, a diverse variety of backgrounds, values, creativity, spontaneity, caring, acceptance, trust, family, and so much more.”

“Images filled with characters and people of character.”

“This is a tribute to the fine people we touch” and are touched by in our lives when we begin to pay attention.”

“It is extraordinary to be a loving, reliable, trustworthy, caring friend.”

“David (the photographer) is able to bring out the best in his subjects. This allows him to capture the core of a subject’s very persona.

Finally, Rich enclosed a recent recording of Paul McCartney. The title is “Days We Left Behind.” The refrain is:

“Nothing ever stays

Nothing comes to mind

No one can erase

The days we left behind”

A final word from me: Thank you Rich for living each day as you say by word and action, “I call you friend.”  Jim