I was talking with a friend who was having trouble with a car rental company. She indicated that you get a better response when you are low key and kind in confronting something that you don’t like as opposed to the vinegar of a strong negative response. She had a backup plan B if a more confronting
response was necessary. She’s right that honey and a gracious nature come first, but that is not a working-class characteristic when you honor work with your hands more than work with your mind.
I should know because I came from a working-class community and have struggled all my life to achieve that level of understanding that my friend has. It is the reverse in working class America. You strike first with a strong confrontation of the other person. Hitting hard with strong words first is hard to change because it often works to correct a negative situation that requires confrontation. That is what makes it so hard to change for the better “honey first approach.”
There were students at EA who called me “Big Jim.” They somehow sensed in me that there was this internal response of “don’t mess with me” in my inner being. I didn’t have to say a word. They felt it! They felt it because it was real. The “honey,” if it ever came, was later. My family referred to it as “jack ups” of others.
Coupled with this was something that added to the drama of striking first and hard. In working class culture, you never back down. Every time I hear the song by Tom Petty, I Won’t Back Down and hear that verse, “You can stand me up at the gates of hell but I won’t back down.” I just smile. Everything is a two-edged sword. Never backing down has its positives and its negatives.
I saw something that maybe true in an article in today’s Inquirer (December 15, 2021). I hedge my conclusion because it could just as well be true of me. It strikes close to my home of origin. The article, “Mask or No Mask? Again, schools must decide” by Maddie Hanna caught my attention. It was about the Wallingford-Swarthmore recent school board meeting after the state high court struck down a mandate where the districts are facing the question and a new frustration.
Let me remind you that this district takes the mandate as seriously as any of those brawling on social media throwing verbal hand grenades at the members of school boards. As I was leaving Swarthmore to come to the Episcopal Academy, there was a raging war between the Swarthmore and Wallingford School Boards. The state was requiring these two districts to merge as one. It was ugly as various people from one district didn’t want to merge with the other implying that the other had an inferior education program in their district. The gloves came off as few things are more important to parents than their children’s education. Phrases such as “the other side of the tracks” were banted around. The parish where I was on the staff had people in both districts so it was interesting times.
I noticed something that was very different about the recent school board discussion in my once hometown of Swarthmore. The issues were the same as exist across the nation. “How much time should families have to get their children vaccinated? What level of coronavirus transmission would justify masking up the students?” Along with this was a consideration of every possible position that a person could hold.
The article went on to make two conclusions by the people and the school board. “In the end, the Delaware county district proposed going mask-optional as of February if case counts over the previous two weeks amount to less than 2% of students and staff – threshold of that could vary by school building. The number 1 goal is to keep the kids in school fulltime, keep our activities running, and keep the school experience as much as it can be similar to pre-pandemic life.”
Parents across our nation care about their child’s education, but there was something very different in this recent Swarthmore-Wallingford School Board Meeting. Even though every possible problem and possible solution was raised, no one raised their voices. The business was conducted in a civil way. Why?
I could be wrong, but classism plays a bigger role across our nation. In working class communities, you hit first, leave the honey at home, and strike out against those in authority who hold a different view. Part of our challenge as a nation is to have more social/emotional intelligence regarding the human nature of the communities that schools serve. I was not surprised that differences were worked through in Swarthmore and Wallingford, and differences were attacked in working class places that have dominated our news.
During the recent election for governor of Virginia, one candidate didn’t know this. He even said that “parents shouldn’t have a say in their children’s education.” He lost, in my opinion, on that one statement and attitude.
I am not saying that families of the middle and upper classes are more civil than those in a working-class environment. What I am saying is that, given the hot button nature of education for their children, their response makes sense. They never back down! How do I know? I know because I work hard to get that characteristic to work for me and not against me and those around me.
I could be wrong but…
Comentários