After The Fall

After the fall is a phrase that is attached to the story of Adam and Eve where they are in the Garden of Eden in relative bliss and are living a carefree life. After the fall is a phrase that is used to communicate that they must leave the garden because they were no longer innocent and must live a life that confronts them with the harsh times of struggle and pain both physical and emotional in nature.

There are other phrases that mark this painful experience such as East of Eden which is also a title of one of Hemingway’s works. It is a novel with the theme of redemption and struggles of ordinary people. The phrase After the Fall took on new meaning for me this summer when I had a serious fall in early June that resulted in the picture that is shown above.

To say that I am fortunate to have emerged from that experience relatively unscathed is an understatement. I always say that life is to either be enjoyed or learned from so what did I learn from this experience after the fall?

First is gratitude. I am lucky to be alive. When we live life with gratitude, “we live life from a deeper spot”. You notice that the little things are not taken for granted. I learned that from a former student and advisee who died of cancer after a long battle. She used that phrase in a chapel address.

“Watch your time!” I spoke this phrase frequently without even realizing it until junior members of the student leadership group (the vestry) gave the seniors pocket watches with an inscription on the inside lid, “Watch Your Time! Rev.”  Time and how we use it should never be taken for granted. Each day is a gift. For that matter so is each moment. I wanted my students to make good use of their time in meetings including enjoying that time while focusing on the serious purpose of the meeting. I also wanted to honor the students being on time for the class that followed our meetings.

Sometimes we are aware that time is of the essence. The ambulance that transported me to the ER after the fall traveled quickly getting me into the Cat Scan Machine to measure the extent of my injury. Waiting for that report seemed to take forever. It came back with no fracture and no intracranial bleeding or brain damage .

A theme for me that I write about is temporary vs. permanent mindsets. A permanent mindset is believing that nothing will change and in a temporary mindset you believe that you are going to get better. Churchill’s comment describes it this way. “When you are going through tough times, keep on going!” My permanent mindset led to dark days. Temporary mindset led to my good days.

I spend a lot of time with people who have experienced tragedy. I believe that has taught me that tragedies (or tough times) don’t have a ticket into our lives. Those tragedies are already there waiting to happen because they have a box seat.

One of my former students who died earlier this year of cancer wanted to write a book titled, “Why not me?” Another friend lost her son, a former student/advisee, who died in his sleep and her husband died later from cancer. Another was a gifted rower and student who died in a car accident in the prime of his life loaded with potential. I could go on and on for there were so many. If you want to get me angry just indicate that “it must have been God’s plan.” God had nothing to do with it.

When you are living in the real world, you learn quickly that life is not fair. It is a child’s first moral declaration. “It’s not fair!”

I now have more empathy for athletes going through the concussion protocol. I know why it takes them so long. The initial fogginess and headaches are terrible and take time to resolve. I have a physical therapist who has been key. There is a sign in her office. “You are stronger than you think!” Her first words to me were, “You have been running for 40 years. You are strong enough. We need to get you more flexible.”

There are no atheists in foxholes. Tough times take us deeper into the power of faith. Prayer is communication with God. It works best to have a relationship with God and with others in your life. You won’t have a good relationship with friends if you just call on them when you need something.

 I did not share the struggle of my injury with many people outside of my family. My amazing wife is tough, tender, and a nurse who knows about medical things and is singularly responsible for my journey having a happy ending. My face looks normal now. Balance issues are still present, but PT is helping with that. I have learned that there are multiple sites in our bodies that control balance. I am working hard to get rid of the cane. She told me that her greatest concern is that I tend to do twice the reps at home. I don’t know how she got that idea, but it is true.

Getting a hero helps. It may be different heroes for different occasions. For this adventure I chose EA parent, Candace Gantt. She is a triathlete who was hit by a truck during a training run. She was air lifted to Penn Neuro. I visited her a few hours after she arrived there. She had the worse brain injury that I had ever seen. She was critical. Fast forward many months. I was visiting Candace at her rehab facility. She was in a large room with others doing some form of training on the basic issues that we all take for granted. When she saw me, she put her arm up communicating that I should stay right where I was in the doorway. She then walked slowly toward me with her helmet on and finally reached me and gave me a big hug. That walk took as much energy as a triathlon does. I will never forget that moment. She went on to do other triathlons and began a foundation for brain research at Penn, Mind Your Brain. Candace’s injury and recovery make mine look like an afternoon walk in the park.

Norman Cousins wrote a book, “Anatomy of an Illness as Perceived by the Patient”, that describes his fight against a terrible disease and the ingredients and personality to overcome it. I learned much from his experience.

Like Cousins, my goal in sharing my experience is to give encouragement to others. The video below, “Holding out For a Hero”, is something that I want to listen to on headphones when I can get back on the highway. Bonnie Raitt sings about heroes being everyday people like you and me.

AX Holding Out For A Hero by Bonnie Raitt