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Reverend James Squire

Does Peer Pressure Exist?


One of the things that I told my Ethics Classes on the first day of the course was that they would be working on two important questions. One question is, “Why do I do what I do?”. There is a corollary to that question that we examine as well, “Why do people in groups do what they do?”. Understanding relationships is critical to understanding behavior. Ethical and unethical decisions do not occur in a vacuum. Not to decide to do something is to make an ethical or unethical decision. If you decide to walk by a fellow student who is in obvious need, you have made an important unethical choice.


As I noted in an earlier post, it is important to understand the power of Philia or behavior among friends, and the importance of the buy one, get one free deal with friends where you get two important aspects of relationships at the same time. The result of Philia or the power of group dynamics is that you get two emotional foods that human nature yearns for, self-esteem and a sense of belonging.


When we apply group dynamics or Philia to the Insurrection, we can see these dynamics in action. What you can’t do on your own, you can do in a group sharing the same concern. Life is a two-edged sword. Recall Philia makes good intentioned people better and bad intentioned people worse. There is power in numbers.


Would the Insurrection have occurred with just a few people? I doubt it. But like all things having two sides, the other side of Philia is the basis of such enterprises as AA and cancer support groups. “Alone, I may feel I am not worthy, but in a group, I may feel I am magnificent.” It is the same dynamic that when your favorite sports team loses, you feel the loss to be very personal and vice versa when your team wins. Your identity is merged with the team. Just listen to Eagles talk radio after a game to have this observation confirmed.


All groups have a moral or immoral code. It is a value judgement, but any reasonable person would say that the Insurrection was coming from an immoral place. The flip side of that aspect is that the seditionists thought they were being patriotic following the bidding of their President. They believed what they were doing was patriotic and therefore good.


They certainly felt that their self esteem was up as a result of their self-perceived moral action and it certainly was a powerful feeling to be part of a group with a stated moral goal, “Stop the Steal”. Why else would a woman who was interviewed say, “This is the best day of my life along with when my children were born.” They felt empowered as well by pushing anyone who disagreed with them “out” so that they could feel “in”. That dynamic is the glue that holds groups together and is a root of most “isms.”


Philia always says, “We”, so that anyone else becomes “They”. Negative storge or behavior seeks scapegoats. In case of the Insurrection, it was the Democrats and Michael Pence. For the KKK, it is black people.


But there is one aspect of all of this that needs to be addressed. One of the great things about teaching Ethics to young people is that they are brutally honest. My job was to create a classroom environment where they felt safe to do so. When teaching Philia or group dynamics to classes, I would look at them and see some puzzled looks on their faces. They agreed that all of the above is true, but they had another observation. One student volunteered the dilemma adding a new twist to be addressed. He said, “Rev, peer pressure are the two best words in the English language. If we get caught drinking or any other behavior that our parents see as wrong, we just say, “Peer pressure, Mom! I wouldn’t have done it otherwise.” They all nod in agreement. The hard question is, “Did peer pressure counter my idea of the dynamics of groups?”


I don’t think so! When students use that expression, “peer pressure”, they are quick to indicate that they knew what they were doing was wrong. The seditionists didn’t think what they were doing was wrong. They operated in the light of day. The students agreed with this “wrongful action” point of view. Their drinking or wrongful acts were always done in secret. In Ethics we refer to that as the private domain as opposed to the public domain of the location of the Insurrection for all to see.


There is one other aspect of the Insurrection that has not been addressed by anything that I have seen in the media. Clearly our media types have not worked closely with kids who are a clear microcosm of adult behavior. This goes to the issue of I/It relationships based on what you can get from another in a transaction and I/Thou relationships where you respect the other person for who they are. I/It relationships have a quid pro quo. I/Thou relationships don’t.


The dominant attitude in the media is that Trump, being the great transactional guy that he is, used these people to advance his own personal agenda. That is true! But life is a two-edged sword. The organized seditionists that were present such as the Proud Boys, Oath Keepers, and QAnon were also using him. It was an I/It relationship made in Hell. Trump was a dream. All that one had to do was to “love” him bringing all of his narcissism out to influence his actions, and they got exactly what they wanted. It was a marriage made in hell. He was the perfect, maybe only, guy who could bring about their agenda. Their dream and his dream became our nightmare.


I think that I should recommend my former Ethics students to this newly formed Commission on the Insurrection. One of the great things about kids is that they can spot a phony a mile away and they would make the best debaters there are as they are quick to see the weakness and strength in any argument. My only hesitation is there is nothing political about them. They tell you straight out how they see things. If the Commission accepted this quality, they could get to any Truth.



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